Real Estate Civility Campaign

By Linda O'Koniewski

I want to talk about civility in our industry, but our Alison Socha suggested we hearken back to chivalry, the medieval system with its moral and social code.  Can we all exude the qualities expected of the ideal knight?  While we fight our dragons, let’s also own courage, honor, courtesy, justice and a readiness to help the weak.

Just yesterday I had an unnerved agent call me saying, “I have an agent calling me every half hour screaming at me because the P and S isn’t signed.”  There was a hiccup; these things happen (…to all of us).

I walked into one of our offices and an agent plopped down a 4-page email from another agent with his buyer’s “demands”.

Frustrated buyer agents complain they don’t hear back from listing agents.  Listing agents are bewildered that buyer agents are falling down on every step of the process.

Attorneys playing hard ball can have a mean edge.  Lenders don’t deliver on their promises to meet contract dates.

What’s with the screaming?  How about a little diplomacy instead of demands?  Can we return phone calls in a timely manner?  Can’t we do our job and not leave other agents and our clients in the lurch?

Are you in awe of how colleagues in our industry turn into crazy, venting lunatics on social media?

Rage, impolite responses, lack of responsibility, discourteous behavior and meanness are poison in our profession.

In addition to misbehaving agents, there are also the big drama folks. Those who focus on perceived slights and find problems with how everyone else behaves. I cringe when I think about the drama fiends; they are the ones that love, love, love to complain.  Everything is a problem.  Unfortunately, those folks who fit the above description never identify themselves when they witness or hear about that behavior.

I had the pleasure of watching Valerie Garcia, an international speaker for RE/MAX Integra, give a soulful talk at our business meeting. She dropped in a thought that should give us all pause.  Everyone has a story.  Everyone is slaying personal dragons.  Let’s give everyone a little grace, because we don’t know their story.  She went so far as to suggest we could love everyone if we knew their story. We have all been knocked around, let us be better for it, more polished, as a result.

I know an agent who identifies herself saying her “Indian name should be ‘Talks without Thinking.’ ”  It was a keen demonstration of self-awareness that should control her from lashing out, but it doesn’t.  She is resigned to her bad behavior.

Join me in a real estate civility campaign.  Take a breath.  Let’s think before we speak.  Choose nice. Choose kind. This profession is riddled with complications, problems, obstacles and difficult personalities. Lots of styles work.  Strong and calm.  Fiery but polite.  Strong-willed, yet diplomatic.   Kindly be your nice self and let’s treat everyone with grace.  Let us be modern Knights of grace, honor, courage, courtesy and justice.